Our plans to visit my mom for Thanksgiving kind of fell through. I was slightly upset, but I'm actually glad that we don't have to deal with Drake's screaming for each 5 1/2 hour drive that the trip would take.
Rj's idea of Thanksgiving involves pretty much the typical stuff . . . and nothing less. And also, nothing more.
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Rj: What? We're not having turkey?
Me: What about a Cornish Hen?
Rj: Um, is that a turkey?
Me: It's pretty damn close. The two of us are not going to eat an entire turkey.
Rj: It's not Thanksgiving without a turkey.
Me: (huffing) Fine.
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Me: What kind of dessert do you want?
Rj: Pumpkin pie
Me: Well, what about Grand Marnier Sweet Potato Pie? Or maybe Chocolate Rum Pudding Cake?
Rj: No, pumpkin pie
Me: (huffing) Fine.
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Me: Do you have to have that green bean casserole crap too?
Rj: Yeah.
Me: Do you even like it?
Rj: Yeah.
Me: Well, what about a broccoli casserole instead?
Rj: (stares blankly)
Me: (huffing) Fine.
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Rj: And we need cranberry sauce. (with 'that' tone) Nothing homemade. Nothing fancy. Just the jellied shit that you plop out of the can and slice into circles.
Me: (with a tear about to fall) But, but . . . (Spicy Cranberry Sauce with Pinot Noir)
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Me: Ok, I bought some of the stuff we needed for Thanksgiving dinner. Sweet potatoes, canned pumpkin pie mix, pie crust* . . .
Rj: Did you get Cool Whip?
Me: No, I didn't get any damn Cool Whip! You have restricted everything else that I'm making and I'd like to have just one thing my way, so we're having real whipped cream on our pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, not fucking Cool Whip!
*If it wasn't for the fact that I am being forced to make a damn feast for two people, then I sure as hell wouldn't be using canned pumpkin pie filling with refrigerated pie crusts. I can assure you that I will be making plenty of stuff from scratch. PLENTY.
Rj's idea of Thanksgiving involves pretty much the typical stuff . . . and nothing less. And also, nothing more.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Rj: What? We're not having turkey?
Me: What about a Cornish Hen?
Rj: Um, is that a turkey?
Me: It's pretty damn close. The two of us are not going to eat an entire turkey.
Rj: It's not Thanksgiving without a turkey.
Me: (huffing) Fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: What kind of dessert do you want?
Rj: Pumpkin pie
Me: Well, what about Grand Marnier Sweet Potato Pie? Or maybe Chocolate Rum Pudding Cake?
Rj: No, pumpkin pie
Me: (huffing) Fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: Do you have to have that green bean casserole crap too?
Rj: Yeah.
Me: Do you even like it?
Rj: Yeah.
Me: Well, what about a broccoli casserole instead?
Rj: (stares blankly)
Me: (huffing) Fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Rj: And we need cranberry sauce. (with 'that' tone) Nothing homemade. Nothing fancy. Just the jellied shit that you plop out of the can and slice into circles.
Me: (with a tear about to fall) But, but . . . (Spicy Cranberry Sauce with Pinot Noir)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: Ok, I bought some of the stuff we needed for Thanksgiving dinner. Sweet potatoes, canned pumpkin pie mix, pie crust* . . .
Rj: Did you get Cool Whip?
Me: No, I didn't get any damn Cool Whip! You have restricted everything else that I'm making and I'd like to have just one thing my way, so we're having real whipped cream on our pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, not fucking Cool Whip!
*If it wasn't for the fact that I am being forced to make a damn feast for two people, then I sure as hell wouldn't be using canned pumpkin pie filling with refrigerated pie crusts. I can assure you that I will be making plenty of stuff from scratch. PLENTY.
1 Comments:
Hilarious! I could always come over if you're going to have too many leftovers... :oD
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